Geneticist Prof. Steve Jones wrote that life is an exam in two papers: Firstly, survive until reproductive age; then have offspring. You can see why a biologist might think that. This Zen story, retold by Paul Reps, has a more human view of things:
Real Prosperity
A rich man asked Sengai to write something for the continued prosperity of his family so that it might be treasured from generation to generation.
Sengai obtained a large sheet of paper and wrote: 'Father dies, son dies, grandson dies.'
The rich man became angry. I asked you to write something for the happiness of my family! Why do you make such a joke as this?'
‘No joke is intended,' explained Sengai. 'If before you yourself die your son should die, this would grieve you greatly. If your grandson should pass away before your son, both of you would be broken hearted. If your family, generation after generation, passes away in the order I have named, it will be the natural course of life. I call this real prosperity.’
Extrapolating a little from these, you could regard enjoying your grandchildren something like as the revealed summary indicator of success in life: Not only did you survive and reproduce, but so did your children. You are also on good enough terms with them to have a good relationship with their kids.
In a dense web of meaning and belonging, Death is no tragedy.
Andrew Doig and his wife Andrea produced the Fruity Knitting podcast until his premature death in 2021. He had many opportunities and lived a full life. This is Andrea and daughter Madeleine's eulogy for him, and for their life together. Bring your hankie.